Vince McMahon, the billionaire mogul who transformed professional wrestling from a regional sideshow into an international sports-entertainment juggernaut, is reportedly wistful for simpler, happier times when he was trampling and demolishing competitors across the country.
One source close to McMahon, who asked to be identified only as Linda M., said “Vince just keeps watching old tapes of the final shows by The Sheik’s Big Time Wrestling in Detroit, and Roy Shire’s San Francisco promotion. Vince seems stuck in those moments, re-living them again and again.”
McMahon is reportedly yearning to relive his glory days of national expansion, when he squashed his competition like cockroaches, while looting the corpses of Stampede and AWA in the process.
Sources close to McMahon say he is now sleeping only two hours per night, as opposed to his usual 2.5 hours, because he is now plotting to destroy WWE’s biggest competitor in the coveted demographic of males aged 18-109: PornHub.