NYC light
The Undertaker says he “wasn’t thinking” when he stretched his arms overhead during a recent visit to Manhattan.

An eerie, pulsating blue light illuminated the night sky over New York City, shocking residents and sparking fears of an alien invasion, though state authorities have now confirmed that it was caused by legendary sports-entertainer The Undertaker unthinkingly raising his arms.

Cellphone footage of the bizarre light flooded the internet Thursday night, shortly after The Phenom rose from his seat a midtown cinema, where he had just watched a screening of Ralph Breaks the Internet, and stretched his arms and shoulders.

Immediately, a phantasmagoric light burst around him, visible for several miles in any direction, and bystanders within several blocks reported hearing the deep toll of a churchbell.

“Oh crap,” said The Deadman, realizing he had unwittingly unleashed the power of the dark side. “My bad.”

New York Mayor Bill de Blasio issued a statement this morning assuring residents that it was not a blown transformer, alien invasion, or any of the other zany theories proposed to explain the light.

“It was just a magical zombie mortician accidentally deploying his light-summoning arm-raise,” tweeted the mayor. “We have asked that he kindly keep his hands below his shoulders during his next visit to our fine city.”

The Undertaker said he is “very sorry” if his accidental illumination at night “hindered anyone’s ability to rest in peace.”

Leave a Comment