Linda Hogan hulk
Linda Hogan poses with the new tell-all autobiography about how she lives with herself.

Linda Hogan, ex-wife of legendary professional wrestler Hulk Hogan, has just published a tell-all memoir about the horrors of living with herself.

In the book, CougarMania: How I Cope With Being Me, the spray-tanned, silicone-enhanced hussy provides a day-by-day account of her shallow gold-digging tendencies, her impaired driving record, and her penchant for men a third her age.

The book details how, after divorcing Hulk Hogan in 2007, Linda continued to live in the family’s Florida mansion and seduced the 19-year-old pool boy, and generally behaved like a spoiled hussy.

“It’s not easy to live with myself,” she writes in the prologue. “I mean, have you seen Hogan Knows Best? I’m, like, the worst.”

The book makes many references to the highly scripted “reality” TV show in which Hulk, Linda, son Nick and daughter Brooke regularly demonstrated that they barely share a single brain cell between them.

The book is also riddled with grammatical errors, factual inaccuracies, and three whole chapters about those leathery sacs of toxic waste she calls breasts.

“I learned a lot about myself writing this book,” the vacuous, aging bimbo said in an interview.

“Mainly, I learned that people as shallow and soulless as me shouldn’t be allowed to write books.”