A leaked script for World Wrestling Entertainment’s flagship program, Monday Night Raw, reveals that the returning Anonymous General Manager of the show is none other than reigning champ Brock Lesnar.
Lesnar has been deemed perfect for the role, given his proven track-record of not actually appearing on Raw.
The script reveals that Lesnar will send frequent email missives to Cole urging him to “say something stupid” — a favorite commandment of Lesnar’s, and a favorite pastimes of Cole’s.
In other emails, Cole will be encouraged to mimic Lesnar’s trademark pterodactyl shriek for several minutes at a time, and to have an erect phallus tattooed on his chest.
Some industry experts worry about the believability of the plotline, however, given the slim likelihood that the apelike Lesnar knows how to use a computer, let alone read or write.