World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) has announced six upcoming call-ups from its developmental league, NXT, to the company’s main roster — and a leaked memo reveals the new identities being given to the young rookies.

According to the memo, WWE honcho Vince McMahon says the wrestlers personae needed “more sizzle,” so they will be unveiled on Raw and Smackdown as follows:

• EC3 will be renamed VM3 — short for Vince McMahon the Third — and will portray McMahon’s long-lost son, who was shipped off to boarding school after being framed by brother Shane for coming up with the idea for the Gobbledy Gooker.
• Lars Sullivan will become The Colorado Angel, which is likely an allusion to his grandfather Maurice “The French Angel” Tillet, to whom he bears an uncanny resemblance.
• Lacey Evans will be renamed Glamazon Prime, a more-expensive version of Beth Phoenix featuring numerous upgrades and known for quick delivery of small packages.
• Because there is already one Nikki in WWE (Nikki Bella) and wrestling fans get confused easily, Nikki Cross will be renamed Nanny Cross — a strict babysitter character — who will finish off opponents with a maneuver called The Babyshaker
• Heavy Machinery will be decked out in neon tights and tassels and called The New New Rockers, who will aim to carry on the legacy of Marty Jannetty and Al Snow.

Rumoured to also be making the transition soon to the main roster are Adam Cole (as Michael Cole’s Baybay Boy), Velveteen Dream (as R-Truth’s new rapping tag partner, VD Truth), and Ricochet (as S.D. Special Delivery Jones Junior).