The superstars of World Wrestling Entertainment have signed a petition requesting that ladder matches, which require exhausting ascents up dangerously wobbly ladders, be replaced by safer and more efficient “escalator matches.”
More than have 50 members of the WWE roster have already signed the petition, which states that escalator matches “will save time and energy by making it easier to reach dangling briefcases.”
Jeff Hardy, who has plummeted painfully off more ladders than any man alive, signed the petition seven times himself.
A Money in the Bank Escalator Match would have the same rules as a ladder match, with the exception that the winner will be the first competitor to take a leisurely ride up an escalator, grab the briefcase and — this is the hard part — dash back down the upward-moving escalator.
Escalator matches have one more important advantage: James Ellsworth is afraid of escalators.