The editorial staff at Kayfabe News were given a rare day off this week when World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) decided to self-satirize with the announcement that Braun Strowman will battle Kalisto in a “Dumpster Match” this week on Monday Night Raw. 

No, seriously.  

“Well, we can’t top that,” said Kayfabe News Editor-in-Chief Colin Hunter, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“I mean, a dumpster match, honestly?” Hunter added. “I suppose we could make a joke about Duke Droese getting involved or something, but that would almost make it less silly, you know?”

According to an article on WWE.com, which we promise we are not making up, “Raw General Manager Kurt Angle has made the match official,” meaning that the winner of the match will be the man (Strowman) who throws his opponent (Kalisto) into a large metal bin full of trash. 

The dozens of writers and editors who make up the Kaybabe News editorial team — among the most hardworking and reliable journalists on Earth — welcomed the opportunity to sit back and watch WWE make a mockery of itself for a change.