Professional wrestler and mayoral candidate Kane is said to be inconsolable after finding out that he is not, as he previously believed, the Devil’s favorite demon, which turns out to be Finn Balor. 

Satan, the evil overlord who tortures the souls of the wicked for all eternity in Hell, announced via Twitter today that he thinks Kane is “a good, reliable worker,” but that Balor is his “all-time favorite demon.”

“I mean, I’m already partial to Irish people, because there’s so damn many of them down here,” added Mephistopheles, accompanied by the hashtag #LOL. 

Throughout his seven-decade tenure in WWE, the demon Kane has frequently been described as the Devil’s favorite, but it turns out he’s not even second-favorite. 

“I’m a huge lucha fan, so Blue Demon is obviously my second fave,” wrote Beelzebub. “I guess that makes Kane my bronze-medal demon, at best. Come to think of it, I think I even prefer The Demon from WCW.”

Lucifer also clarified that he, not the Undertaker, is the real “Prince of Darkness,” and that Hell is not actually in a cell, but rather underneath the WWE ring.