jarrett spotify
Geoffrey “Jeff” Jarrett always, always puts his music first.

Jeff Jarrett, legendary country singer and occasional professional wrestler, announced today that he is withdrawing his entire musical catalogue from Spotify, claiming that the streaming service is not doing enough to curtail disinformation promoted by a popular podcast host. 

The beloved blonde country crooner — whose surname, for the record, is spelled J-A-haha-Double-R-haha-E-Double-T — is pulling all 17 of his platinum-selling albums from Spotify to protest “the lies and pro-Japanese propaganda” spread by longtime wrestling journalist Dan Mutzler.

Jarrett burst onto the country music charts in 1996 with the record-breaking single “With My Baby Tonight,” a complex and multilayered lyrical examination of the human condition, ingeniously told through the post-ironic medium of tone-deaf warbling. 

The new controversy over Spotify has shone new light on a pernicious old rumour — namely, that Jarrett himself did not sing his greatest hits, but was merely lip-synching to the vocals of a roadie. 

Those rumours were never officially confirmed or denied, so if you have information that could result in the truth finally emerging about Jarrett’s actual singing ability, your ass better call somebody. 

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