Fans of professional sports-entertaining were united in surprise this morning after it was revealed that Hollywood moviemaker Jimmy-Jack “J.J.” Abrams has signed on to “direct” WWE WrestleMania in April.
Abrams is a hot commodity in Hollywood, having directed the two latest instalments in the Star Wars saga, Mission Impossible III, and The Marine 9: Marine vs. Chaperone.
The announcement marks a drastic change for the creative vision of WrestleMania, as all previous incarnations of the event have been directed by Kevin Dunn (formerly Stephen Dunn of the tag team Well-Dunn*).
Abrams is expected to make a number of significant changes to WrestleMania, including:
- Abrams will split the single event into a three-part trilogy, to be unveiled in four-year instalments
- The WWE Universe (a.k.a. grown manchildren) will rejoice at the nostalgic easter eggs embedded throughout the event with obscure references to the first three WrestleManias
- Lens flare. So much lens flare
- Abrams will infuriate cosplaying WWE fanboys by introducing a jive-talking CGI robo-referee named Teddybot 2000, which is not part of the WrestleMania canon
Many pundits expect the event to be comfortingly reminiscent of the WCW Starrcades that were directed by George Lucas.
* Deep cut deserves much retweeting.