wrestler
A rare moment of sleep for John Cena after a referee drops his arm for the third time.

Professional sports-entertainer John Cena has been diagnosed with a rare sleeping disorder characterized by an inability to fall asleep until his arm is raised and released thrice by a bedside referee.

During restless nights, Cena’s arm will typically drop from the raised position twice, but then dramatically jut upwards with a sudden burst of energy.

Longtime WWE star Hulk Hogan was known to suffer from an even worse form of the same disorder, as his arm never dropped a third time; what’s worse, after the third failed drop, Hogan’s fists would clench, his arms would begin to pump, he’d breathe heavily and shake his head in some kind of all-consuming spasm of energy.

Among wrestlers who are able to fall asleep after their arms drop three times, a surprising number awake to find their head has been shaved by a man with a mullet wielding hedge clippers.