WWE commentators
Michael Cole believes history is being made every night.

Excitable professional wrestling commentator Michael Cole declared during a recent WWE event that “history is being made tonight” — a bold proclamation he has uttered every night of his broadcast career.

“I can’t believe what I’m seeing!” he added, as he does at least thrice during every episode of WWE television.

Cole seems oblivious the formulaic structure of professional wrestling, thus causing him to interpret everything he sees as an unprecedented occasion destined for the history books.

Cole’s hyperbolic gasps of shock and disbelief follow in a long line of repeated drastic overstatements by wrestling commentators.

Jim Ross, for instance, was incessantly “sickened, bah gawd” by the behaviour of habitual rulebreakers, while John Bradshaw Layfield frequently has “never seen anything like this before in my life.”

It is widely believed that, even in the afterlife, Gorilla Monsoon thinks it’s a “travesty of justice” every time a referee is duped by a scofflaw heel.

And Vince McMahon, even though he runs the WWE empire and hasn’t commentated for years, still thinks an early-match pin will result in a decision, prompting him to exclaim excitedly: “One, two, three he got… No! He kicked out!”


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