Brodus Clay dance
Brodus Clay (centre, in singlet with mohawk, tattoos and giggling flesh) dancing like a dinosaur among young children.

Parent groups across North America have expressed deep concern about professional wrestler Brodus Clay, a man who pretends to be a dinosaur, wiggles his bare thighs and invites small children to dance with him.

“We have reason to believe Brodus Clay is some kind of deviant,” says a statement released by Protecting Our Kids Everywhere (P.O.K.E.), a child safety advocacy group.

“In fact, Mr. Clay often makes a raptor-like gesture, as if to emphasize his predatory urges. Kids love dinosaurs, and he is using that fact to lure them into wrestling rings to dance with him. It’s worrisome.”

Several times a week in cities around the world, Brodus Clay — the self-proclaimed “Funkasaurus” — wiggles his ample flesh while wearing only a tight singlet, then invites roughly a dozen kids to join him for a dance.

Although Clay has not actually committed any acts of criminal deviance, the child-safety advocates are demanding that police perform a thorough background check.

“We need to know his history,” said one advocate. “Somebody call his momma.”