Following his release from World Wrestling Entertainment, Punjabi giant The Great Khali has announced that he will hang up his wrestling boots in favor of his size-27 ballet slippers.
“Gnarrch burshnaaagh bruhn akkacksht baryshnikov,” the pelican-jawed freak announced via Twitter this morning. “Graaaah! #Nureyev”
The seven-foot, 400-pound genetic abomination, despite being known for his wobbly stilt-legged gait in WWE, is a classically trained and critically acclaimed dancer.
His apparent lack of coordination and grace in WWE were “all part of the act,” insists his longtime manager and translator Ranjin Singh, who is now executive director of the prestigious Moscow Ballet.
A team of Calcutta seamstresses is currently working around the clock to create the world’s largest unitard, which Khali is expected to wear during a Christmas performance of The Nutcracker.
It is believed that Khali will have a limited performance schedule in ballet, in order to afford him time to pursue his other longtime passion: the trapeze.