God fondly recalls tag match with Shawn Michaels
The almighty creator of the universe, God, recently reminisced with fondness about tagging with Shawn Michaels to battle the McMahons at Backlash 2006.
“What a night,” mused the all-knowing deity. “I mean, just being booked in the main event was a blast in itself, but to actually beat Shane and Vince — I was, like, OMS — Oh My Self!”
God admitted that He was skeptical of the idea at first, wondering if his first appearance on earth should instead be in a church or other religious site.
“But when HBK asks you to be his tag partner, you accept!” explained His Magnificence. “I felt like a Marty Jannetty out there, except supremely holy and powerful.”
Some wrestling fans criticized God for appearing only as a bright white spotlight at the event, and failing to intervene when Shawn Michaels was suffering a beating at the hands of the McMahons.
To these critics, God responded: “First of all, I appeared as a spotlight because I didn’t want to totally steal Shawn’s thunder. If I manifested in my true form, there would be way too much kneeling and worshipping — not to mention stigmata and speaking in tongues and all that stuff.”
While God didn’t get the opportunity to execute His signature move — a springboard corkscrew moonsault He calls “The Old Testament” — He said he has no regrets about the match, or any other aspect of His creation.
Asked whether He would ever wrestle again, God was evasive: “Well, I have the entire universe to govern and maintain in celestial harmony, so I don’t have as much time for the WWE Universe,” he said. “Then again, someone has to break the ‘Taker’s streak.”