A good-intentioned but misguided George “The Animal” Steele plans to donate 10,000 turnbuckle pads to third-world famine relief this week.
“You!” Steele hollered yesterday, pointing at no one in particular. “Eat!”
Steele consumed countless turnbuckle pads during his WWE tenure, leading him to mistakenly believe that they are a staple foodstuff, rather than an inedible assemblage of fabric and padding fluff.
Family and friends didn’t have the heart to tell Steele — a big-hearted simpleton — that famine-stricken countries will have no use for the turnbuckle pads.
When a representative from the American Red Cross attempted to explain why the organization was hesitant to deliver the shipment, Steele chased him away with wildly flailing arms and a protruding green tongue.
The shipment of turnbuckle pads is expected to reach West Africa by Easter.