George Lucas reveals that Skywalker’s father is actually wrestler Vader
Iconic filmmaker George Lucas shocked science fiction fans worldwide yesterday when he announced that the lineage of Jedi knight Luke Skywalker actually traces back to professional wrestler Vader — not, as previously believed, Darth Vader.
“I’m as surprised as anyone,” Lucas confessed during a press conference in Hollywood.
“I was looking through some old scripts from the ’70s, and it turns out Luke’s father is actually Leon “Vader” White. I don’t know where I got the idea for Darth Vader. My bad.”
The confusion possibly arose, Lucas said, because the wrestler (Big Van) Vader was known to enter the ring wearing a black, steam-spewing mask — not entirely unlike the one worn by Darth Vader.
Lucas said he has already begun re-making the original Star Wars trilogy in order to digitally insert “the correct Vader” into all scenes in which Darth Vader previously appeared.
The voice-overs performed by James Earl Jones will remain largely intact, but with some minor modifications. Instead of the line “I’ve been waiting for you, Obi-Wan — we meet again, at last,” for instance, Vader will instead say “It’s time, it’s time, it’s Vader time.”
The heavy breathing will remain, because Vader has some respiratory problems.