Professional wrestling is “fake” and a “soap opera for men,” according to 37-year-old Todd “Drogon” Gzowski of Cleveland, who can recite every episode from all eight seasons of Game of Thrones, which he calls “the most important TV show of all time.”

Last night, when Gzowski was publishing his latest piece of erotic Game of Thrones fan fiction — titled “Seduction at King’s Landing” — when he happened upon an online article about WrestleMania 35.

“What a load of nonsense,” he scoffed. “WWE is just a bunch of overblown make-believe battles between preposterous characters — with a bunch of titillating sexuality thrown in to appeal to the lowest common denominator.”

Gzowski became especially snide when he saw a video clip of Finn Balor (in full demon makeup) against Braun Strowman, describing it as “utter fantasy with no connection to reality.”

He then chortled to himself at “silly” WWE names like The Kingslayer, The Beast Incarnate, and The Viking Raiders (though the chortle at that last one is understandable).

Speaking to a friend who enjoys WWE, Gzowski chortled that WWE is “totally scripted and implausible,” and then told his friend he “absolutely must read” every book, short story, and grocery list written by George R.R. Martin.


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