Cena hate
Todd Williams (left, giving thumbs down) is “having a real hard time lately” remembering why he doesn’t like John Cena.

Todd Williams, a longtime detractor of pro wrestler John Cena, complained today that Cena is making it aggravatingly difficult for him to continue his irrational hatred.

“I mean, I still want to hate him,” said Williams, a 32-year-old wrestling fan and former theme park ride operator from Cleveland.

“But man, did you see the latest Make-a-Wish video? Stupid generous Cena.”

Williams has been one of the most vehement anti-Cena voices in the so-called Internet Wrestling Community since 2011, but is now struggling to remember the motivations behind his disdain.

He begrudgingly admits that, in recent years, he has come to “not hate” Cena’s matches, promos, charity work, film roles, entrances, talk show appearances, efforts to “put over” NXT newcomers, and entreaties for tolerance.

“I guess I still don’t love his outfits,” said Williams. “But he dressed really well at that press conference where he spoke fluent freaking Mandarin Chinese, for crissakes.”

At a recent WWE live event, Williams still chanted “Cena sucks” as always, but found himself also chanting “Let’s go Cena” with equal enthusiasm.

Williams is coming to realize that the things he once hated about Cena — the patriotism, the chiseled physique, the catch-phrases, the predictable move-set — are the exact same attributes he adored about Hulk Hogan as a child.