Longtime fans of professional wrestling may remember The Undertaker, a perennial WWE mid-carder best known for losing a WrestleMania match to Brock Lesnar, who has recently taken to the independent wrestling circuit as Mark the Mortician.
Mark the Mortician made his “indy wrestling” debut last week in the gymnasium of the Tallahassee Boys & Girls Club, where he lost the opening bout of the evening to “The Handicapped Hero” Gregory Iron.
In his WWE heyday (insofar as he can be said to have had one), The Undertaker was a so-called “phenom” in the ring, but during his recent appearance at “Tallahassee Wrestling Alliance Team” (ACRONYM REDACTED) he seemed disoriented and confused.
Due to his former stardom, Mark The Mortician reportedly received a kingly payday for his first indy appearance: five hot dogs and three handshakes — well above minimum wage for indy wrestlers.
During his entrance, Mark the Mortician attempted to illuminate the house lights by raising his arms, but instead accidentally knocked out the 17-year-old ring announcer who was standing too close due to the cramped 11-foot-ring.
Mark the Mortician attempted his “Gravestone” piledriver — and even growled his catch-phrase, “Relax in solace” — but Gregory Iron easily defeated him with a hilarious variation of The Worm.