Fandango straight
Fandango has shocked the wrestling world by admitting his heterosexuality.

Professional wrestler and ballroom dancer Fandango surprised fans worldwide today when he came out of the closet as straight.

“I’m straight, and I’m happy,” the flamboyant, and hitherto presumably gay, Fandango told a TMZ cameraman at a Los Angeles airport.

Until his admission of heterosexuality, most fans naturally assumed Fandango was gay, judging by his glittery attire, his athletic good looks, his penchant for dance and his effeminate manner of “letting the a’s breathe” when he speaks.

Although Fandango is frequently seen dancing with an attractive woman in a seductive manner, many fans pointed out that he seemed to be “trying a bit too hard” to appear straight.

Fandango insists that his out-of-the-closet heterosexuality should not affect his standing in World Wrestling Entertainment, and he hopes fans won’t regard him any differently.

WWE Chairman Vince McMahon, however, is reportedly thinking about repackaging the newly outed Fandango as a hyper-masculine lumberjack.