Whereas most fans of professional sports-entertaining were appalled by the entrapment and humiliation of Roman Reigns on yesterday’s episode of Smackdown, 41-year-old Todd Bradford of Cleveland was overjoyed to see his most peculiar and bizarre fantasy brought to life.
In the deepest, most sexually deviant recesses of his imagination, Bradford has long yearned to see a muscular Samoan man with wet hair get handcuffed to a ring post and get slathered with Alpo-brand dog food.
While some fans looked away in disgust, Bradford’s eyes widened at the exact reenactment of countless daydreams concocted by his lonely, imbalanced mind.
In Bradford’s full fantasy, the muscular handcuffed Samoan is humiliated by a fellow grappler with bleach-blond hair, as well as a bald, uncharismatic dunderhead pretending to be a king.
“Oh,” exclaimed Bradford, watching his darkest fantasy come true, “my god.”
The only thing missing from the real-life enactment of his fetish was a Vince McMahon wearing a tutu and swinging from a rope, but Bradford figured beggars can’t be choosers.