lucha libre
Yet another English announce table moments away from disaster in Mexico.

English-language commentators at a lucha libre event in Mexico City were once again forced to call the action with nowhere to place their paperwork after their table was destroyed last night for the 479th event in a row.

Commentators Matt Striker (real name Matthew Striker) and Vampiro (real name Verne Ampiro) were providing play-by-play for the Mexican promotion Lucha Casa Fiesta when one grappler, El Specifico, powerbombed opponent Los Santos through the broadcast desk.

“I have never seen anything like this before in my life,” exclaimed Striker, who has seen something exactly like that thrice weekly for the past 17 months.

Although the Spanish-language announce table at Lucha Casa Fiesta events gets destroyed on occasion, the frequency of such destruction is statistically insignificant compared to the misfortunes endured by the English-language table.

This stands in contrast to the standard within the United States, where foreign-language announce tables have a 94-percent higher likelihood of destruction than their English-language counterparts.

Asked whether he worries that his announce table might be the next to face frequent destruction, WWE Japanese commentator Funaki replied “Indeeeeeeed.”

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