Emma rehired
WWE Diva Emma is, as of 25 seconds ago, still employed. Oh, no, scratch that. Fired.

The Human Resources department of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) is reeling after a tumultuous 24 hours during which Diva Emma has been continuously fired and rehired in a confusing ping-pong between employment and re-employment.

The chain of endlessly reversing decisions seems to have stemmed from an alleged shoplifting incident on July 2, in which an iPad case was reportedly stolen from a Hartford Walmart.

Emma was swiftly fired, rehired, and fired again.

The company quickly backpedalled, however, issuing a press release this morning that stated: “Upon closer examination, it appears our dismissal, rehiring, and subsequent release of Emma was premature, so she is is hired again.”

Then, moments later, the company issued a follow-up press release: “We take that back. Emma’s fired. We wish her the best yadda yadda.”

Emma has since been reinstated and terminated at least a half-dozen more times, leading many observers to speculate that Vince McMahon has finally lost his marbles completely.

As of press time, Emma has been fired again “because she sucks at dancing,” according to WWE.com.


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