where-is-cm-punk
CM Punk debuted his new look at a Chicago Blackhawks game.

After months of speculation about his whereabouts and intentions, elusive professional wrestler CM Punk has shocked fans and Hollywood insiders alike by emerging from seclusion with actress Renee Zellweger’s former face.

Just days after Zellweger made headlines worldwide with a red carpet appearance with a shockingly different facial structure, Punk appeared at a Chicago Blackhawks game sporting the face that made Zellweger a beloved starlet in Jerry Maguire and Bridget Jones’ Diary.

Punk has apparently undergone extensive plastic surgery to attain Zellweger’s plump, pouty lips and intriguing eyes — a stark change from his usual pierced lip, facial stubble, and general air of smug superiority.

Punk’s new look calls into question his return to professional wrestling, which wrestling journalist Dave Meltzer had previously confirmed was “either imminent, a long way off, or not going to happen.”

Some fans and wrestling pundits are speculating that Punk’s radical transformation is an attempt to get back on WWE programming as a cast member of “reality” TV show Total Divas.

It is believed that, if Punk were to appear on Total Divas, the majority of wrestling fans┬ástill wouldn’t watch, because even wrestling fans have standards.