Professional wrestler and singer-songwriter Elias (surname unknown) was surprised today when, upon completing a shower and donning a plush blue bathrobe, he received numerous compliments on his costume as former intellectual saviour of masses and body-double Damien Sandow.
Elias was initially confused when several members of the locker room shouted “you’re welcome” in his direction.
Because Elias began his WWE career after Sandow had already returned to academia (he now holds professorships at Harvard in ancient languages, Mesopotamian archeology, and physical mimicry), Elias was unaware of how strikingly similar he looks to Sandow.
Elias had intended to go to a WWE Halloween party dressed as Seth Rollins (which would have required him wear a black SWAT team vest and make his hair slightly wetter), but changed his mind due to the popularity of the bathrobe getup.
He planned to write a new song to perform at the party, but had difficulty coming up with a word that rhymes with “ignoramus.”