Dixie Carter wwe
Dixie Carter says WrestleMania will be replaced by Bound for Glory.

Sports-entertainment impresario Dixie Carter sent shockwaves through the world of professional wrestling today by purchasing her former rival, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE).

Carter, long known as a Machiavellian evil genius driven by an insatiable desire to monopolize sports-entertainment, paid an undisclosed sum to become majority shareholder in WWE, formerly led by Vince McMahon.

During a live press conference this morning at her Nashville mansion, Carter said with a sinister cackle: “It was me, Vince — it was me all along!”

Carter revealed that she has spent more than decade lulling the McMahon empire into a false sense of superiority by making it seem as if Carter’s own promotion, Total Nonstop Action (TNA Wrestling, was financially faltering.

Carter is expected to open tomorrow’s episode of Monday Night Raw — now to be known as Monday Night Impact — by unveiling the company’s new 10-sided ring.