Mad Man Pondo
Mad Man Pondo says stubbing his pinky toe last night was the “sickest bump” he has ever felt, and he wore the proverbial crimson mask to prove it.

While shuffling half-asleep toward his bathroom in the dark for a late-night pee, deathmatch wrestler Mad Man Pondo stubbed his toe on a door frame, causing him to bleed profusely from his forehead.

“Dangit!” blurted Pondo (real name Brad Minpaundo), grasping his throbbing pinky toe as a rivulet of blood flowed from a small gash just under his hairline. “Owww, ow ow ow ow ow owwwwww!” 

The moment Pondo slammed his toe into the wall he knew it was a really nasty bump, so he instinctively reached for a taped-up corner of a razor blade, concealed in the waistline of his jammy pants for occasions such as this, and then used the razor to surreptitiously make a small incision in his forehead. 

Although nobody was around to witness the subsequent bleeding, Pondo felt the so-called “blade job” helped to convey how “hardcare” the toe-bump really was. 

Pondo is a legend of deathmatch wrestling — he has survived fire, barbed wire, broken glass, and being slammed onto a board of sharpened No. 2 pencils — but “stubbing that dang pinky toe is the most painful bump I ever experienced,” he said. 

“I knew I needed to get color,” added Pondo. “It adds drama — and, more importantly, it helps regulate my blood sugars.”

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