WWE breasts
Dean Ambrose calls himself a “staunch advocate for breasts,” seemingly unaware of the real reason behind WWE’s pink campaign.

Mentally unstable professional wrestler Dean Ambrose, not fully grasping why his WWE colleagues are wearing pink through the month of October, proudly stated today that he supports breast awareness.

Possibly due to his tenuous grasp on sanity, Ambrose seems not to realize that WWE has partnered with the Susan G. Komen Foundation in order to raise awareness about breast cancer, not simply breasts in general.

“I am a longtime advocate for breasts,” Ambrose said today, “and I will happily support them any way I can.”

Ambrose, who earned the unfortunate nickname “Titty Master” several months ago (after reportedly scrawling the word Titty on his wrist tape as a sign of his ongoing mammary-related activism), has vowed to wear pink t-shirts and dine exclusively at Hooters through the month of October.

When former Shield teammate Seth Rollins attempted to explain to Ambrose that WWE’s month-long campaign is about breast cancer, not just breasts, Ambrose hit Rollins in the face with hot dog and dashed away, laughing maniacally.

Jerry Lawler, meanwhile, is looking forward to WWE’s upcoming partnership this December with the ASPCA for Puppy Awareness Month.


[Seriously, though, donate to the Susan G. Komen Foundation