wwe cruiserweight ropes
Wayne Potoczny, centre, has grown to loathe all things purple.

Whereas fans of fast-paced, high-flying professional wrestling love WWE’s Cruiserweight Division, the “whole Cruiserweight thing is stupid,” according to a beleaguered roadie frantically covering the ring ropes in purple tape. 

Wayne Potoczny, 47, has worked on the WWE ring crew since the early 1990s, and insists “things were better back in the good old days, when the ropes stayed the same color all night.”

“Why do these flippy-dippy pipsqueaks need different-colored ropes?” grumbled Potoczny, hurriedly affixing purple tape to the bottom rope during a two-minute commercial break of Monday Night Raw. “Pain in my ass.”

Following a three-minute match between Neville and Zack Gallagher, Potoczny again dashed to the ring and muttered the words “vanilla midgets” while hurriedly ripping off the purple tape he had affixed just moments earlier. 

Later that night, when a superplex by Braun Strowman to the Big Show collapsed the ring, a single tear streamed down Potoczny’s cheek. 

“Goddammit,” he sighed. “Goddammit.”