Confederate flag
Footage of Freebird Michael P.S. Hayes will be altered to depict the rainbow flag, which will still be in keeping with his fabulously flamboyant character.

Responding to the recent controversy surrounding the Confederate flag, World Wrestling Entertainment has announced that all footage of the flag in footage of the Fabulous Freebirds on the WWE Network will be digitally altered to show the rainbow “gay pride” flag instead.

In a press release issued from WWE’s Connecticut headquarters this morning, Chairman Vince McMahon is quoted as saying that “WWE is a progressive and inclusive organization that shuns culturally sensitive imagery such as the Confederate flag.”

Added McMahon: “We would never dream of deliberately offending anyone.”

Starting immediately, matches depicting 1980s tag-team stars Michael P.S. Hayes, Terry Gordy and/or Buddy Roberts — known collectively as The Fabulous Freebirds — will be cleansed of depictions of the Confederate flag, which is widely associated with white supremacy and slavery.

Digitally substituted in its place will be the rainbow flag, which in recent years has become synonymous with tolerance, love, and social inclusivity.

According to McMahon, the rainbow flag “seems perfectly appropriate for a trio of hairy men in tight spandex who describe¬†themselves as fabulous.”

In related news, all footage on the WWE Network of “Dirty” Dick Slater — another wrestler who proudly sported the Confederate flag — will be replaced with footage of Dick Murdoch, but¬†few present-day WWE fans are expected to notice the difference.