CM Punk’s return to WWE is imminent, in no accurate sense of the word.

The elusive CM Punk’s long-awaited return to professional wrestling after a months-long absence is “imminent,” according to a person unfamiliar with the definition of that word.

Bleacher Report writer Chad Greenfield posted an article today claiming that Punk’s WWE return to WWE action is “compleatly (sic) imminent,” though he seems to have intended to say “uncertain.”

“Since WWE has been silent about Punk and he has barely used Twitter since walking out, its [sic] safe to say that his return is imminent,” reads the article.

“For all intensive purposes [sic], Punk will remain on haikus” [note: he presumably meant “hiatus”].

The article went on to make a number of egregious grammatical and syntactic errors, including such statements as:

  • “Punk needs more time off to remunerate…” [he meant “recuperate”]
  • “The return of Batista seemed to exasturbate Punk’s frustrations…” [he meant “exacerbate”]
  • Punk may need a new training regiment to keep up within the current WWE regimen [he meant “regimen” and “regime”]
  • “The Fed’s push of Danielson and Claudio might make Phil happy…” [this is grammatically passable, but just pretentious smarky twaddle].