Professional wrestler John Cena, who has failed for weeks to secure a spot on the card at WWE’s annual WrestleMania spectacular, discovered to his chagrin today that he also is not even guaranteed a merchandise table at the WrestleMania Axxess fan expo.
Cena has come up short at earning a spot on WrestleMania, despite multiple opportunities on both WWE brands, and now has learned he is not invited to even participate in ancillary events around New Orleans.
The 16-time WWE champion has fallen on hard times in recent months, failing to even secure a job at WrestleCon selling DVDs for Highspots.com. Cena is reportedly hoping to sell signed polaroids to drunken tourists on Bourbon Street.
Although Cena publicly challenged The Undertaker to a WrestleMania showdown, in reality he has failed to even secure a match at the WrestleCon Supershow against Abyss.
Currently, the only paid gig Cena has managed to procure in New Orleans is handing out moistened, warm “Never Give Up” towels at a boiled crawfish restaurant in the French Quarter.