Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake waged a sneak attack on the hair of Hunter Hearst Helmsley yesterday, successfully lopping off Helmsley’s trademark ponytail.

The long-retired Beefcake shocked the wrestling world after sneaking up behind Helmsley during a marketing meeting at WWE headquarters in Stamford and applying a sleeper hold.

According to witnesses, Helmsley valiantly struggled to escape the sleeper, but he was deemed unconscious after his arm flopped listlessly for a third time after being lifted by a concerned onlooker.

While Helmsley snored in an exaggerated manner, Beefcake fetched a pair of garden shears from his knapsack and chopped off Helmsley’s trademark ponytail.

Beefcake then used a set of electric clippers to shave the rest of Helmsley’s head, giddily throwing clumps of his shorn hair into the air.

Beefcake then roused the slumbering Helmsley, who groggily looked in a mirror held by Beefcake. After realizing what had happened to his hair, Helmsley threw a wild tantrum and ran away, ashamedly covering his bald head with his hands.

A Beefcake-Helmsley showdown at WrestleMania 29 is expected.

 

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