Lesnar congress
Brock Lesnar’s PhD in political science is finally going to come in handy.

Brock Lesnar, the so-called Beast Incarnate who has dominated professional wrestling and MMA for nearly two decades, has announced his bid to run for Congress in Minnesota. 

Lesnar announced his intentions Thursday to replace Rep. Billy Long for the open 7th District Congressional seat, and Lesnar vowed to “break the streak” of Long’s time in office. 

“Let’s do…. thiiiiis,” Lesnar hollered in his trademark pterodactyl shriek, announcing his candidacy for Congress. 

Lesnar is running on a predominantly suplex-based platform, including:

  • Suplexing the state’s deficit by 20 percent
  • Suplexing the ultra-rich to help pay for social services
  • Suplexing COVID-19 infection rates by suplexing anti-vaxxers 
  • Suplexing members of the Liberal suplex-control lobby by eliminating background checks on people wishing to learn the suplex
  • Full UFO disclosure, because Lesnar is eager to return to his home planet, where suplexing is a form of lovemaking

Lesnar has previously held political office, as most wrestling fans know, as the longtime mayor of Sioux Pleques City. 

 

 

 

 

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