Professional wrestler Bray Wyatt has been suspended from WWE for thirty days after psychological testing revealed he was in violation of the company’s Mental Wellness Policy.
Wyatt’s psychological wellbeing has been under suspicion since he debuted in WWE, and it is widely believed that he has been utilizing performance-enhancing creepiness.
The company’s resident psychiatrist, Dr. Bob Ponovich, subjected Wyatt to a gamut of diagnostics that involved showing Wyatt a series of Rorshach (or inkblot) tests.
“His answers were deeply disturbing,” reports Ponovich. “He used terms like ‘beautiful suffering’ and ‘demonic bliss’ to describe the inkblots. He referred to a sister that apparently doesn’t exist. Then he upside-down-crab-walked out of the room.”
Added Ponovich: “That guy freaks me the hell out.”
Wyatt’s failure of the mental wellness test casts suspicion on his so-called “Family” members, Luke Harper and Erick Rowan, but the pair has not been seen for days.
According to witnesses, they were last seen following a flock of large birds of prey for reasons unclear.