Backlund suspendered
Bob Backlund’s trousers have tested positive for performance-enhancing suspenders.

Fans of professional wrestling around the world are abuzz today with the news that WWE Hall of Famer Bob Backlund has been suspendered.

It was revealed this afternoon that Backlund’s trousers have tested positive performance-enhancing suspenders — over-the-shoulder straps that allow the trousers to remain aloft around his waist.

Backlund’s use of suspenders is in direct violation of the WWE Dress Code, which prohibits the use of dorky clothing that could draw comparisons to TV nerd Steve Urkel.

Backlund is also currently under investigation for wearing a bowtie, which is generally just considered kind of creepy.

It is unknown whether Backlund’s protege, Darren Young, has also been using suspenders as part of his efforts to become great again, but he has been released from WWE as a precaution.


[Thanks to Gee Hall for the idea]

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