Since moving toward more PG-rated programming, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) no longer broadcasts footage of bloody wrestlers, instead showing them covered in an unknown dark ooze in black-and-white photography.
No longer are wrestlers shown in the proverbial “crimson mask” of blood — which is gross and offensive and likely to anger advertisers — but rather seeping a darkish liquid that technically COULD be chocolate milk.
“Blood, as everyone knows, is red,” said a WWE spokesperson.
“That stuff on Roman Reigns’ face at WrestleMania? We think that was actually Coke Zero. It’s just impossible to tell for sure from the colorless footage.”
The mystery liquid in black-and-white imagery seems to typically emanate from small, precise gashes on wrestlers’ foreheads — as if trickling from blood vessels deliberately severed by a concealed razor — but that would be impossible, because what kind of disgusting sadist would cut his own forehead with a blade?
Some experts believe the unknown fluid in black-and-white photography of wrestlers is the same cursed goo that trickled down the Ultimate Warrior’s face after being cursed by Papa Shango.