xavier woods trombone
The New Day will henceforth perform polka, marches, and various oom-pah ditties.

Professional wrestlers Big E and Kofi Kingston have followed the example of New Day partner Xavier Woods by acquiring the brass instruments required to form a full oom-pah band.

Big E purchased a shiny new tuba, which uncannily mimics the sound of his own speaking voice.

Kingston, meanwhile will round out the ensemble by providing African/Jamaican fusion on a sousaphone, having studied the instrument during his childhood in Africa/Jamaica.

Big E and Kingston decided to acquire the instruments after wrestling fans unanimously agreed that Woods’ trombone playing was, without questions, the most entertaining aspect of WWE’s Monday Night Raw for several consecutive weeks.

It is expected that, by the end of the year, all WWE talent will be required to play a brass or woodwind instrument.

The New Day will provide their own percussion via rhythmic clapping.