trump mcmahonA long-standing feud between pro wrestling impresario and US President Donald Trump has been reignited with McMahon’s shocking announcement today that he will run for the presidency in 2020. 

Already being described by the (dishonest) media as a new “Battle of the Billionaires,” the 2020 election will determine which brash megalomaniac will steer the country into certain oblivion following Trump’s first term, presuming Trump has not ushered in the apocalypse by then. 

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“Quite frankly, I have the grapefruits to lead the free world, quite frankly,” said McMahon during a press conference at his Connecticut mansion. 

Added McMahon: “Quite frankly, quite frankly.”

The 2020 election will be historic and unprecedented in numerous ways — even compared to the surreal circus of 2016 — for numerous reasons. 

  • If McMahon wins, the First Lady will be Linda McMahon, who is currently part of the Trump administration, and the First Mistress will be Trish Stratus, who will bark like a dog during McMahon’s inauguration speech
  • The Electoral College vote will be eliminated and replaced by a poll on the WWE App
  • According to an oft-overlooked amendment to the Constitution, the winner of the election will have the legal right — nay, obligation — to shave the loser’s head
  • Both candidates will benefit from secret collusion by Lana

According to early polls, both men will be beaten by a landslide by independent candidate The Rock.