WWE Universe
Professor Stephen Hawking delivered the keynote address at a historic summit where scientists are debating the existence of intelligent life in the WWE Universe.

An international summit of astrophysicists convened in Geneva yesterday to debate the possibility that intelligent life exists in the WWE Universe.

Prof. Stephen Hawking delivered the keynote address of the conference, stating through his electronic voice synthesizer that: “Due to the sheer vastness of the WWE Universe, sheer chance would dictate that there is intelligent life out there.”

Hawking added: “Even the most sophisticated radio telescopes, however, have thus far failed to find empirical evidence of intelligent life in the WWE Universe.”

More than 400 scientists — as well as philosophers, sociologists and journalists — are attending the four-day conference in hope of answering the long-pondered question.

Brian Greene, a noted string theorist and author of The Elegant WWE Universe, said the search for intelligent life might be misguided.

“We know there is plenty of life out there in the WWE Universe,” he said, “but perhaps intelligence is not its defining characteristic. The WWE Universe seems to exist in a parallel dimension, in which our so-called ‘intelligent’ rules of reason and logic do not apply.”

The conference is expected to wrap-up on Friday with a much-anticipated plenary address by Scott Steiner on the mathematical probability of finding intelligent life in the WWE Universe.