As WWE matchmakers begin planning the company’s biggest annual sports-entertainment extravaganza, it has become clear that the only credible WrestleMania opponent for Brock Lesnar is Lesnar himself.

The main event of WrestleMania 32 this spring will pit “The Beast Incarnate” Brock Lesnar against “The Conqueror” Brock Lesnar in what is expected to be the most evenly matched showdown since Randy Savage versus Ricky Steamboat.

Lesnar’s mouthpiece and legal guardian, Paul Heyman, concedes that Lesnar will be Lesnar’s toughest opponent to date, but insists Lesnar will emerge victorious.

“My client, Burrrrrock Lensarrr, is the ‘one’ in ‘oneself,'” said Heyman. “And he will will make himself wallow in his own blood, urine, and vomit.”

During a brief press conference this morning, Lesnar insisted he will hurl himself around the ring with reckless abandon, then shriek: “Suplex City, Self!”

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