WWE ratings
The new writing staff of WWE has already come up with a “banana on a pole” match for this weekend’s pay-per-view.

As ratings for World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) programming continue to slide, the company has taken the bold initiative of firing its so-called “Creative Team” and replacing it with an infinite number of monkeys.

WWE Chairman Vince McMahon announced at a press conference this morning that fans will “go bananas” over the new storylines and feuds concocted by innumerable primates.

The infinite quantity of monkeys, which recently re-wrote the collected works of William Shakespeare after an eternity of trial-and-error typing, will be housed in a special warehouse in Connecticut, previously used to house 200 tons of unsold XFL merchandise.

They monkeys have already booked a “banana on a pole” match between Paige and Charlotte for this weekend’s TLC: Tables Ladders and Chairs event.

The monkeys are reportedly planning another long championship reign for Brock Lesnar, whom they refer to as “dad.”