Dean Ambrose champion
Dean Ambrose, already sick of the briefcase, relinquishes after owning it for a barely an hour.

Despite being hailed as a brilliant and opportunistic strategist, new WWE Champion Dean Ambrose confessed today that he cashed-in his newly acquired Money in the Bank contract because he didn’t want to lug a cumbersome metal briefcase around the world.

“I remember (Seth) Rollins complaining that the briefcase is a huge pain in the ass,” Ambrose told reporters at a press conference this morning in Las Vegas.

“You think I want to take that thing through airport security every day? No thank you!”

Ambrose has vowed to “travel light” these days, especially since he realized what a hassle it was to transport Mitch the Potted Plant from city to city — not to mention the barbed-wire bat that security guards confiscated from his luggage last week.

Ambrose may soon regret his decision, however, since the seven-pound briefcase is actually easier to transport than the WWE Championship belt, which is 10 pounds of gold.