clash of champions Fans of professional wrestling are abuzz with anticipation today as World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) finally returns to pay-per-view after what has felt like an interminable duration since the last offering.

Tonight’s sports-entertainment event, Clash of Champions, will offer WWE fans the kind of action-packed spectacle they haven’t seen since Backlash, which was held what feels like decades ago.

“I’ve almost forgotten what watching WWE PPV feels like,” wrote veteran wrestling journalist Dan Mutzler. “It will be fascinating to see how significantly this event differs from a typical episode of Raw.”

It is unclear why WWE is making fans wait so long between pay-per-view events, as the so-called WWE Universe is clearly demanding more programming.

“Three hours of Raw, two hours of SmackDown, a 24/7 streaming video network and the occasional pay-per-view is just not enough,” writes Mutzler.

According to some inside sources, WWE will soon meet the demand by streaming a non-stop barrage of wrestling directly into microchips implanted in viewers’ brains.