Fans of professional wrestling are mourning the passing of legendary ring announcer, although Saint Peter is overjoyed to have to have the ideal new voice to welcome every newwwwww spirit through the Pearly Gates of the afterlife. 

Just moments after arriving at the Great Beyond, Howard Finkel, the longtime iconic voice of WWE programming was already announcing a nine-star match between Owen Hart and newwwwwwwwwwwww Actual Universal Champion Eddie Guerrero (who defeated Curt Hennig for the belt yesterday in front of billions of delighted, departed souls. 

While we here on Earth have lost a voice that connects us to the joys of our youth, Finkel’s dulcet tones are now whipping angels and cherubs into a frenzy at Heaven’s daily WrestleTopia free-for-view, where today Roddy Piper is squaring off in a much-anticipated rematch against Bad Newwwwwwwwws Brown. 

The Fink had a voice that instantly brings nostalgic joy and happiness to me every time I hear it, so thank you Howard Finkel, and condolences to his friends and family, from Kayfabe Newwwwwwwwwws. 


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