Using the most sophisticated facial-recognition algorithms ever developed, scientists at Caltech’s Artificial Intelligence Laboratory have solved one of the most enduring mysteries in professional sports-entertaining: the identity of masked grappler Mr. America.
Although conventional wisdom has long held that Mr. America was portrayed by Hulk Hogan — or, according to a less-popular theory, Stevie Richards — the Caltech supercomputer’s calculations have determined with 99.99 percent probability that Mr. America was actually veteran wrestler Dan Spivey.
The announcement is sure to spark controversy among fans, as many swear they recall Mr. America brazenly lifting his mask to reveal himself as Hogan. But this is now believed to be a widespread false memory as a result of the so-called Mandela Effect — a mass delusion, like the erroneous belief that Vince McMahon once died in a limousine explosion, or that Triple H once dry-humped a mannequin in a coffin.
After the announcement of Mr. America’s true identity, Spivey confessed that it was indeed him all along.
“I loved that gimmick,” Spivey said, “and I loved pummelling opponents until they were wailin’ ‘Mercy!'”