World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) Chairman Vince McMahon is one of the most powerful people in showbiz, having transformed professional wrestling from a low-brow regional sideshow into a global sports entertainment juggernaut.

But even McMahon has vulnerabilities and dark secrets that he has worked hard to keep out of the public eye.

A team of investigative journalists spent the past two years filing “Freedom of Information” requests to WWE’s Stamford headquarters to learn the truth about the company’s figurehead. Here are five things that McMahon desperately does NOT want you to know:

 

5. His credit card number

McMahon collects Walmart reward points with his Mastercard, number 4590 4844 0001 0333.

 

4. His struggles with erectile dysfunction

The grapefruits are overripe, and the genetic jackhammer is on the fritz.

 

3. His home phone number

Got an idea for a WWE storyline? Want to tell McMahon about your fantasy booking of WrestleMania? Think Ziggler deserves a push? Give McMahon a call at his Connecticut mansion at 631-924-0517.

 

2. The password he uses for everything

For online banking, email, and everything else, McMahon uses the password “BarkingTrish.”

 

1. His reptilian lineage

McMahon is an all-powerful, blood-drinking reptoid from the planet Griznacht, who uses subliminal messages to brainwash the so-called WWE Universe, but the only person who ever saw his true nature was Roddy Piper, thanks to a magical pair of sunglasses.

But most fans already assumed all of that.