World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) announced via Twitter this afternoon that, “due to overwhelming social media support,” Roman Reigns has been stripped of the company’s coveted World Heavyweight Championship.
According to sources within WWE, the company will now make all important decisions — such as who will run Raw, regardless of stipulations to the contrary — based on the whims and gripes of dweebs on Twitter, Facebook and, most importantly, TOUT.
Vince McMahon reportedly spends the vast majority of his time online, monitoring trending hashtags, posting funny wrestling memes on Facebook and debating on Reddit, where he learned of Reigns’ widespread unpopularity.
Also due to overwhelming social media demand:
- Shinsuke Nakamura will headline the next 15 WWE pay-per-views
- NXT will be extended to three hours, and move to Mondays at 8pm EST
- Cesaro will never get injured again