Ralph and Gladys Rollins, the parents of professional wrestler Seth Rollins, issued a statement from their Iowa home today clarifying that they would never name a child Freakin’ — not even as a middle name.

“Seth is always making up the silliest stories,” Gladys,58, told reporters. “For a long time, he insisted his name was Tyler. And now he says his middle name is Freakin’? It’s embarrassing, honestly.”

Ralph Rollins stood stoically by his wife’s side during the press conference, eyes downturned, muttering quietly: “That boy ain’t right.”

Seth Todd Rollins was born and raised in a conservative suburb of Davenport, where he was a quiet and unassuming boy known for heavenly soprano voice in his church’s youth choir. 

Although he now calls himself “The Architect,” young Seth showed no interest in architecture during his schooling, gravitating instead toward his school’s ringette team. 

Young Rollins — or Toddywoddle, as his Nana called him — fell in love with professional wrestling at age eight, and vowed he would one day be a superstar like his hero, Dawn Marie.